Thursday, 17 September 2015

Drinking Red Bull is MAGIC!!

Hold up. If you thought Hecate the ancient Greek magician Goddess or that Criss Angel and David Blaine are the magic gurus, then you have no idea because I have just discovered the greatest magic trick of all time. Picture this, you have to stay up to study for an exam that will have questions unanswered from 1800s, you need to stay up to entertain "girlfriend", you have to somehow take your chances for staying up just one night to discover aliens in case they show up and most of all, something I personally never got used to, waking up in the morning to go to work. All that can be summed up in one major requirement, you have to stay up and keep your energy levels high.

However you do it, none of the above mentioned magicians can help you in that, Santa always come close with the kids but on contrary, he must sneak up to the kids so the kids must always nap and hope to find candies and all sorts of sweet stuff stashed up in the rooms.

Long story short, just drink RED BULL and see what magic is. I tell you what, I am typing this at the speed of four words per second, at this rate, I could write 345 600 words in just one day. That's a big number, I could convince Meek Mills and Drake to move into one three bedroom flat with just half of those words. I am like the Jeepers Creepers of energy when I take just four Red Bulls, imagine now what happened last night when I took three more because they were relatively cheap compared to coke and one extra one for control? That's EIGHT in total! I was like Chuck Norris at his best and every other activity was as easy as drinking water.

00:45, I was so energetic and so awake that I could not even blink, I could literally mind punch Floyd Mayweather and fly above the Eifel Tower using a rhythmic flap of my ears. I was buzzing with so much energy, I could feel large amounts of Kilowatts of Power moving from my head to my toe nails. I was like an electric eel ready to pounce on a poor fish. Just about midnight, I was unfortunately done with all my plans and I ticked off every single task that was on my list, I started procrastinating on sleep, knowing very well that I was a human barrel of Red Bull. I was praying in my heart that my metabolism should bail me out. I was pumped up with almost 4 litres of that magic energy drink. and not even the 101 push ups I did could make me observe the slightest and tiniest drop of sweat.

01:56, I was in deep trouble. the amount of energy from the drinks, coupled with the 100g of cheese that I gulped down like  baby Hippo salvaged from a drying pan, all that combined in my barely 65Kg body was like pure chaos. I needed my sleep. The mind screamed YEEEEEEES, the body screamed back NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I watched Extreme Sports, fear factor, Terminator and read a Shakespeare publication but still, I could not drop my eye lids a single millimetre. I even drank cold water with hope of neutralising the levels of Red Bull in my body but that drink was determined to keep me up.

02:47, I clearly needed help. Like a Whale doing a flip, I jolted out of bed and looked at myself in the mirror. My lean body didn't quite reflect a true image of how I felt like because the mirror was showing a body like Sheldon but I sure felt like Rambo. I needed to use my energy to some good cause so I came up with a plan, I am going to rearrange my room! I started off with moving my bed away from the centre of the room because I sleep with my lights on and when I close my eyes, the light right above my bed irritates me so much. I didn't even think light would travel through my eye lids to my eyes! I moved the fridge without and rearranged it too, bringing the milk and cheese where I can easily access them and taking the rest of the stuff right at the back. I arranged the pile of coins on my desk and calculated them, to my surprise, I didn't even make 5NAD yet!
Finally, I changed my pillow cases, this is like the toughest job I have ever done in my years of living alone.

03:59, It is almost 04:00 and the neighbour's dog will start barking in exactly one hour, I really needed to sleep. I could not hold back my shame and disappointment anymore, how could I?? If only I didn't test the energy drink's ability. With shame, I slotted in my bed and found my comfortable spot, I closed my eyes and promised myself I will stop my thinking and just doze off. Three minutes in bed and I am already thinking of September 11, why Bobby Shmurda should do a song with Jay Z and how Pythagora must have been some huge guy with a thick beard and very thick eye brows. I was on terrestrial journeys my dear.

05:00, I don't even know why I am not mad. My new clock's alarm went off. Yes, in a rather sarcastic tune, it buzzed and galloped all over my desk singing "Its a beautiful day for pie!", inspired by Peter Griffin. I hit the "silence" button and starring at the ceiling with my head resting on my hands, I spoke in  a fine but really annoyed tone, "RED BULL IS MAGIC". I will never ever, I mean NEVER EVER drink Red Bull again. not even if I become part of the Red Bull racing team. But if you want to experience the mind blogging energy levels and feel your toe nails cut through your socks, you have my blessings.

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