Thursday, 15 October 2015

Girlfriend number 1 and Girlfriend number 2.

I was 10 years old when I got my first girlfriend who didn't know we are dating until two years later! Yes, two years later! In those two years, I wrote her so many letters that if someone chose to publish them, I will have to call the World bank to fund the printing. And yes, none of those letters were submitted. None of them, not until I somehow got confident enough to slip one in her school bag and go home feeling like I just committed a serious felony. Did I miss school the next day? Of course I did.

I think my childhood was pretty normal for a boy who just want love but his confidence and his ambitions were in a serious tug of war. Let's be honest, I tried. I mean, I made sure that I didn't look suspicious, that was good enough. Girlfriend number 1 was a beautiful chubby short girl, she was a sprinter and she was the typical Oshakati breed, she discussed the famous Soapies of those days and she always had the latest type of colour pencils in class. She was the first one to come in class with that flexible pencil and her school bag was those ones with like 100 other smaller pockets with huge zips. She was the one.

And me? Well, I was the smart but very shy boy with the back to school stationeries and always had to borrow a sharpener from his best friend. She was mine though, I didn't care that she didn't know, as long as my close friends knew, I was happy with it. When the teacher divided the class in groups of Four and she and I end up in the same group, I blushed so much you could swear a bucket of purple paint fell on my cheeks. My huge smile was all lit like a hungry pelican.

Now you are all probably praying I tell you who the mysterious Beau was. Well, after 14 years, I can finally admit that yes I had a huge crush on Magano. Oh man I had to set aside my ego here. So that was girlfriend number 1 who didn't know that we were dating until I wrote her a letter in grade 6 and oh yes we dated from a distance. Someone should have told me that being co-class captains didn't necessarily mean that you two need to go out with each other. To make matters worse, Mum actually discovered one of the best letters I ever wrote, she found it in my shirt when she was doing laundry and oh boy did I have her and her sisters laughing at me for years. that letter never even got delivered. Poor Magano never got to see the rose I drew with her colour pencils that she borrowed me for the weekend.  Did we ever got to break up? Well, realistically yes, but it took a while for us to get divorced in my mind though.

So that was it about girlfriend number 1. Now there was girlfriend number 2. Frankly speaking, I never told this story before and it is for one reason, the whole shape after all the dots came together. LOL. So I had this friend, my sisters friend who told me that his sister likes me so much and he thought it'd be good that I wrote her a letter. So I did, me being a Champ when it comes to love letters, I took a page from my Social studies note book (because the social study teacher was never going to find out), and I wrote that letter on an A4 sheet. I was so straight to the point this time, no funny things like "I see your face in the stars" No. Uh uuh. I wrote in simple terms that I wanted her to be my girlfriend, klar. Fertig. Finitura. Terminar. Acabado. My friend, that was it! FINITO!!!

I didn't have to tell her a lot of stuff. I folded that letter neatly and gave it to my friend the next day to hand it over. There was one problem though. He told me that he was not going to deliver it  unless I promise to hand over a letter that he wrote to my big sister. I thought for a moment and made up my mind, I will deliver his letter. A love letter as I thought. I handed him my letter to take to his small sister. What did I have to fear? I mean I already heard how she was dying to be my "one and only". I had a very nervous day though, I mean I saw her at school and she didn't show any signs of being troubled or being uneasy with me at al so I made two conclusions. She either did not get the letter yet or she got it but she did not read it yet.

So after school, I waited for my friend at the spot we agreed on, it was not so far from school so after a few minutes of what felt like a hundred years, he turned up and told me that I should just bring my sister's reply the next day so he give me the letter that his sister wrote back to me. No probleeemoo. That night, I saw my sister burn down the love letter and told me to tell my friend (her classmate by the way) that she isn't interested. LOL. Next day I told him so and he, with sadness, handed me my letter. I read it and BINGO, she said YES!!!! I was over the heels. I didn't know how to handle the excitement though but oh boy I was so excited I actually felt so alive!

I then did what another 11 year old would do, I told all my boys. I told the squad. I let them in on the topic that I won the finest girl in the village. I am "Thee Man". And guess what my fellow 11 year olds and 10 year olds went to do after that without telling me, they went to ask her. And to their surprise and my shock, she knew NOTHING about a letter from me, she didn't write any letter to me, she was not planning to write any! I almost fainted because "Girlfriend" came and confronted me with her girls!! I was paraded all the way home with all sorts of girly shouts. I was hurt but oh yes credit to his ingenuity. LOL.

This is an experience that made me hate my sister's friend. This guy has proven that you don't need to have a good GPA score, you don't need to go to Harvard, you don't even have to invent anything to exercise your levels of intellect. All you need to do is make sure that you are the smartest among your lot. How? Hang with the people who are either less smarter than you are, or more dumb that you are. This guy was my friend. I was the dumb one and he really got the best of me. Well this is what happened with girlfriend number 2 who I dated for about a day when she didn't know that I was her cute little puppy.

Since then, I have learned to do things myself. XD

Follow me on twitter, @StefanMutileni

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