Wednesday, 12 August 2015

Lets become Anger Management Champions.

So here I am writing about anger management. A few minutes prior to writing this, I waited and waited and waited for that "Straight Outta Somewhere" link to fully load so that I write with pride, "Okatana". I literally grew a mustache while waiting for the keyboard to pop up on my phone. I also think some poor insect specie in the amazon also went into extinction while I wait for that link to just load. It is all I wanted. While waiting, I realised I was starting to clench my left fist and I chew rather harder and faster on my bubblegum. My My body tensed and I could feel my energy rise to unfavorable levels. I was clearly starting to lose my temper.

Lately, we've ad cases of Men killing their girlfriends, someone shooting 9 times after his car was bumped. Just in case you can't quite figure why nine times is just so a lot, let me give you a demonstration; Vroom Vroom, BAMMM!!! Oh, $hiiiaaatttt!! bkgfhbbcj!!!! CLICK! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Now that is something you need to think of. This guy fired nine times, he was probably not angry before the shooting but, he was definitely angry during the shooting. It shows just how much we as humans can be pushed to our limits until if not managed well, we snap and all hell break loose.

I read a lot of negative comments about such incidents, I don't mean to say that is all there is, of course there are positives too. I really just want to put an emphasis on something that I feel is overlooked and less considered, understandably by the law but quite not so understandably, by us the society, anger. This is not to imply that we should have the acceptance that such incidents should happen, no. This is to say yes it can happen but we can work on ourselves so that when we are caught in the same loops, we will hop out safely.

I believe in the expressions of feelings, just the same way we need to express our rather good and all snuggly snuggly feelings like love and affection, we also need to express anger, frustrations and other feelings that makes us look more uglier than we already are. Why? Well, because feelings are (like) a form of energy and this is energy that will less likely do us good if contained within and not converted to speech. Seriously, I think Einstein would be happy to hear this. I am not a psychologist or medical Doctor, so I am quite interested in hearing what exactly happens to and in our minds to be specific, when we are just about to get angry. I can by the way give my insights on the obvious that is perhaps not too much of common sense to everybody.

Think of the crazy Mathematics definition of an Asymptotic line; In lame terms, it is a line that you can come very close next to, but you can not touch it. You can come as close as possible, to an extend that it looks like you are actually rubbing shoulders with this line but in fact, graphically, you are not. I like to imagine such a situation in getting pissed off, losing temper or just getting to that point when you are almost on the verge of jumping off the bridge or back slapping your mate but because you did not cross the red line, you somehow just "let it go". This scenario when exercised efficiently can sure make us maybe not happy people, but good enough, not people who will regret what they said or what they did in times when they failed to control their anger.

Lets put the scenarios into more practical terms then. I think, we can assign levels to our thoughts, high energy levels and low energy levels. Our thoughts can be traced and located to a point in space at any time, lets call this the local point (Black dot). We can assign a field around the local point and call it the local field (Light-blue circle). Just like the "logical" assumptions done in Calculus, we are also going to assume that there can never be middle ground in this state of mind.

One can argue that sometimes our thoughts wander off into space and we are not really aware of what is going on around us, or we just think so deep that we stare and someone so hard, just because we are on some terrestrial concentration type of state. So to accommodate that, lets assume that our local point has another twin local point that represents our conscious thinking (Green dot). This twin local point has to constantly follow the main local point to keep us in the loop hole, to keep us aware of our own surrounding, our own actions and to filter out the nasty words for us.

So what is standard in life? What is the normal way of human social behavior? We don't know, in fact we may never reach a conclusion in some of such discussions. But we have a mind that is able to sense what is right and wrong, we have codes e live by in acceptance, maybe some in denial, we have culture and we have rules and regulations that the Governments have put n place. In the above diagram, we can hopefully all agree that we all want to be in the top right corner. Why? We are excited, we are energetic and this is happiness.

So back to the local point, the local point has a sphere of locations that it can be traced to, it wander all around that sphere as per our feelings. It is rather difficult to speak in we so let me use I. When I get angry, my thought's local point immediately tries to get close and over the High energy line. I may or may not find the right state of mind to make decisions in this situation and if my local point moves with speeds that exceeds my sane mind abilities, this is when I grab my phone and hit it int he wall, punch the poor fellow or even grab a gun and shoot nine times, such sad things. I believe that most of those insane acts are carried out in times when our twin point doesn't keep up with the local point and thus, we are not REALLY aware of what we are doing. This is common in times when we later ask ourselves, what just happened??? That is a situation I never want to be in.

So then can we actually keep the two points close to one another, within the local field and well below the high energy line? Yes, I believe so. However, it is not an overnight breakthrough to be a maser of anger management, I, myself could not do it within six months but a series of mind exercises that included texting and calling the people I thought I really disliked (I seriously hope this will not cause chills somewhere, haha), I made it. Not to say I do not get angry anymore but having crushed my first computer at work because i lost my temper, it is a scenario that is very unlikely to repeat itself. The key is to constantly keep the green dot close to the black one because if you let that guy wander off alone, he can be a bad guy.

So we ought to really think about this, to exercise self awareness, to exercise the art of being able to retreat, to say enough with the yelling and fist clenching. To master your emotions is to master your personal conduct. We can be better people. We can definitely do things like take walks, go for movies, pull each others hair and watch the moon, all this in good light. The only thing we should perhaps not try to do is eat up each others Ice Cream because that drives me crazy, it drives me so mad, haha.  I am kidding, we should share ice cream too, especially if I finish mine up first.

Much Love.

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