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Friday, 28 November 2014

Being a serious adult is depressing

I am the guy society expect to soon become a serious adult. I am sorry; I can’t do all that at once. I need choices. Currently, the only time I get serious and really feel like an adult is when I go out which is weird, really weird because my friends think going out is fun but, I think going out really is a serious thing and you all need to take your going outs serious too. Everyone who takes going out as a fun thing is probably one of the teens who silently and unknowingly threaten to wipe out the entire teenhood on the face of the earth and replace it with serious young adults. When I go out, I want to feel like I am Denzel Washington and I am on a mission.

I was just listening to James Blunt’s song 1973 and I’m thinking, oh cool; he was really romantic, he could plan his routines well with probably a really gorgeous lady. He was seriously being a serious adult. I bet he had a Seriometer in his room that he measure himself with every morning just to see if he is serious enough to go out there and show the world what he is made of. Could I one day be a serious adult too? Or for once just be serious? No, I tried, I really did and it failed badly and I almost died in the process. Emotional death. Like Miley Cyrus.

One thing I take serious in life is minding my own business and choosing to not get serious when society thinks I need to. You see, I'll explain the evidence as to why it is highly important. I was seated in a Pakistani restaurant in Walvis Bay sipping on a coke while waiting for a Chicken Biryani. 

My whole day is going well so far and I really feel like I am finally the kind of adult I want to be. An adult who treats himself to good food, he checks his phone only once an hour and he nods and smiles to those he cross ways with. I mean, basic adult responsibilities that don't require effort. Not things like paying bills or going for parent meetings, no, thats being a serious adult and it is scary and lethal. You can die in those meetings or catch a cold standing in long bill queues. 

Even the online paying systems can't be trusted these days, you'll be opening up your emails to chat with your old time friends and here is spam emails, all sorts of shitty companies who just want our money apparently to cover our retirement plans and shit like that. That is exactly why Santa doesn't want to become real, because this world is full of other clowns already… okay, there I was with my arms folded waiting for my Biryani and... Bam, Three "kids" walk in, young boys perhaps 16 year olds. I looked down to see if they stole my phone yet. and no, there it was. My super awesome Sony M2. Thanks to Houlashi.

I looked up to again but, all I could see now was three "human beings" choosing hubly flavors and before I knew it, there they were, all up in smoke like its some tiny volcanic eruptions. Inhaling and exhaling like its a respiratory systems exam. I dropped my glass of coke and like a real adult, a serious one for that matter, I took a deep breath and wore my "I am a serious adult" face. I thought to myself, you need to tell them that smoking can destroy their lungs and cause severe teeth disorders and it will make them smell like they haven’t bathed in 87 years.

But no, I was not going to get that serious, instead, I closed my eyes and silently in my heart, I told myself like;

“Stef, minding your own business is a pretty serious thing and you need to constantly make sure you are doing just that. What if these three are just 37 year old dwarfs who are catching up on a good day after a very long time apart? What are you? Some sort of medical doctor? Are you saying people with height and growth disorders are not supposed to have the same rights like you now or what? Stop being such a nosy piece of garbage. You studied engineering not medical science and even if you did and you were Jason Statham in a superhero movie, you don’t have to play this role either. Now sip your coke and wait for your food”

I almost, almost just judged them. I almost stood up to them, then I realised how close I came to becoming a young serious adult. I realised how close I came to destroying my Teenhood. Old teenhood actually. I just don't want to be reffered to as an adult. 

After that, I started question myself a lot. Did I perhaps need to be a young serious adult and tell these fellows to drop the nozzle? After all, they paid for that thing. So...


I think it really usy hit me so hard how trying to be an adult can cause you a lot of worries.



At some point, I thought I was going to cry.


And I think I was just so horrible at being an adult. A seriously horrible fail.


I don't know from where but a wave of new hope hit me. Like a little tickle in my side, I suddenly realised that hey bro, you can do this, you can do away with this whole thing of trying so hard to be a serious adult. 


Almost like slow motion, I picked up my glass and gulped my coke up. I reached for my all time best asset, my #FeelGoodShades. I sat them on my fugly face and furnished out the most cunning smile like someone just announced my name in the top twn most handsome guys ever, I actually think top ten is too exxagerated, I am probably like in the top 5, realisticaly. If Only 5 people go in the contest. Including me.


 So to hell with being a serious adult suckas, Society can't expect me to solve problems it caused to the unaware fellows, I don't want heart attacks, Plus those three little guys really looked like dwarfs minutes after they got high. I have never seen kids sit around potential death threats like that.