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Friday, 8 July 2016

Hearts

I can not lose my identity in trying to identify with you.

But little does that knowledge grant freedom to this heart. You enslaved me with your unapologetic stare, my inner voice hushed by your silence, yet your loud presence echoed in the distance, like a scorching sun it burned my soul to ashes. Have you noticed the scars we bear? The marks for ages to come, I saw them daily, when the days got dark, I started to feel them with trembling fear that I would never know what you meant when you said, "You understand."

Maybe the symbols we left to mark our space in this wide universe would have helped locate our true identities, but the dust settled and all I could see was space. Where you used to be, the vast void that speech could not fill. I got to feel like the world hates us as much, even our own voices stopped to echo back to us, space took them in but denied us a place called home. We lived for tomorrows that we never really got to reach. The future painted in what made it through the dust. I celebrated my nature to not be able to walk away. Now I hate my then abilities to not see through the crystal clear surface, as we walked on thin ice, unknowingly treading on enchanted land.

Past ghosts of uncertainty, haunting us and driving us to our farthest extremes, bullying us into believing that our destinies were stretched by unmatched patterns. The light at the end of the tunnel was blinding, the morning stars lifting the dark curtains over the darkened nights. Speech with it, it took away more than a day could build.

I saw your image, but I did not know you.

Wait, time sealed the misfortunes, bottled it up and threw it down the river. The tide carrying it down to places we left for good, for all it takes we will never go back. stretching over for the pebble heap, skidding over the stream, hoping they make it to the banks. The vast space of "what ifs", the discomfort in thinking of the worst that could happen. But I still plunged down, risking what was left, for what you never even told me. Swam when I could, not that I wanted to be a hero, to rescue your apparent brokenness, no... I did so because you were strong enough to rescue me in case I drowned in my own sorrow.

All that just to be eclipsed by the happiness we never dreamt of. Hold my hand.