The year 2020 was such a pain in the ass, for so many people, if not all of us. Nothing could possibly be bigger news than the fact that a man and a Bat sent the whole earth into a frenzy. While the whole world crumbled like wet cookies, the world’s 1% raked in dollars like backyard leaves in autumn. The likes of Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos with their two-horse race to who the richest man on the planet was, the legendary Mike Tyson returning to the ring in what is dubbed the greatest sporting moment in 2020, a mysterious superhero called Pelnandes saving Manchester United, the list goes on – the point is, there’s been so much that happened in 2020 that no one, and I mean this in lateral terms, no one figured out that Namibia as minions as we are in the world of science and tech, we were working day and night to send a man to MARS!
Yes, you read right, Namibia is becoming the latest inductee into the space or lunar race, and we are sending a man to the distant planet, Mars. Needless to say, we are doing it before Space X and Elon Musk. Most of these countries even source technology to make these things happen, the US sourced a whole human being from South Africa, in Elon Musk. We are doing it all on our own. It’s more like the whole world is buying milk from Spar, meanwhile we have our own cow and we just go to the kraal and suck its cow titties.
While Elon Musk is working on his Starship’s landing and
flight maneuvers, we have already popped the champagne and shouted ‘CHECKMATE’
as our very own space craft , the all awesome Nandjila Space Exploration and Transportation Craft (Nandjila SETC)
has already proven to be capable of ticking off all boxes, passing all the
required tests. Before you ask, any videos of this spacecraft doing the test
flights is actually classified because there’s been instances in the past where
supposedly superpowers like the US, China and Russia have stolen African technology
and made it their own, then sold it back to Africa. This is one trick we will
not fall for this time, like the millennials like to say, we are woke now. Below
is a series of images taken from a distance because we are well aware of
technology spies and drones disguised as birds trying to steal our ideas.
Have you seen how thy made that trip to Okaku and came up
with Harry Potter? They even saw our friends flying on brooms and then created
the overboard, how sway! The screw-pump was first used in Africa. Most of the
medication is derived from medical practices in Africa. They came here and
introduced their version of god to us, ask yourself, didn’t we have any idea of
higher power back then? Wake up people, we need to trace our roots. Anyways,
this is one thing where they thought they were ahead but then BOOM, we are blasting
off first ya’ll!
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| NANDJILA SETC8 ON THE LAUNCH PAD (USED FOR PERSONELL) |
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| NANDJILA SETC7, USED FOR CARGO LIKE SPEAKERS AND STAGE EQUIPMENT |
Namibia currently have seven (7) SETCs already on their launch
pads, just waiting for all the astronauts to finish their inductions so we can
blast them off into space and watch them disappear beyond the clouds, like a
fart in the wind. Leading the team of Namibia’s space inductees is Astronaut
Willy-Dockyo Lawdlevel (Pictured below) who we had a chance to chat to, just
before his morning routine which includes blasting Amapiano music and making sure
that his premier league fantasy team is sorted out… in his own words and I quote,
“The good thing with this whole space issue is that there won’t be interference
once we are far far away from the earth, so the music will sound as pure as
ever.”
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| ASTRONAUT WILY-DOCKYO LAWDLEVEL ON HIS RETURN FROM TEACHING THE NASA TRAINEES. |
You are probably wondering like what in the mother of
science does music have to do with this? Well, many countries are planning to
take science and tech to space, to colonize distant planets and create habitats
there, but not a single soul is concerned with space entertainment, and that’s
when Namibia joins the conversation like the US when you discover oil in your
backyard. See, we are the black sheep of space exploration, the team trying to
deviate from the all-boring norm of proving black holes and a feathers falling at
the same rate as a sledgehammer in a vacuum. We want to take entertainment to
space. We are that kid in class who as the others sing the alphabet, he twerks
to the rhythm, we are the X-factor of space travel! Can you imagine things going
wrong in space and there’s no music to play while you fix the problems? That’d
be one hell of a torturous space vacation now won’t it?
Namibia’s plan to send a team to Mars is child’s play
thought compared to the bigger picture. The astronauts going to Mars are simply
going to set up a plant that will supply energy to whoever decides to settle on
mars. Where are we going to get the energy from? Well, let me introduce you to
our galactic, megalithion, mother of all plans, harvesting plasma from the Sun.
Yes, we are literally going to send a craft to the sun, harvest plasma and all
the energy infested matter, to take to Mars and bring solar energy closer to the
Martians. If the rest of the world’s plans are the avengers, our plan is
Thanos!
We are already 80% done with the commissioning of the craft
that we will use, which will be remotely operated from the capital city,
Windhoek. The idea of going to the sun is ridiculed by many, saying it can’t be
done and all that… well, some of these so-called scientists are apparently so
smart that they know that going to the sun is a far-fetched idea. But they
voted Trump, what a conglomerate of irony? We will go to Mars, And then the Sun,
and after that, we will conquer the Andromeda Galaxy, send someone to Sirius,
pull Pluto into an orbit just beyond our moon, and then create a whole new
planet from space dust and call it Home.
We have reasons to celebrate and walk flamboyantly out
there, knowing that while Trump is getting impeached TWICE, while Elon Musk is
seating in talks with journalists and crash-landing his crafts, we are a few
weeks from the Martian flight!
