My friend didn't tell me that he's a father now. I'm angry.

So I’m all up in my WhatsApp contacts, checking out what my friends are up to, since we’ve got this awesome Snap-like feature. Everybody is posting their lunch and I’m just scrolling fast like, “oh nah I am so hungry I don’t wanna see food!!” Then I noticed something that caught my attention, someone posted two little cute feet of a newborn baby. I know they were of a newborn baby cause they are so wrinkly and small, the size of full grown thumbs. So I check the caption and this dude is the father of this baby.

Recap, this guy is my childhood friend, we grew up together, we use to fight as opponents or fight boys from other villages, so we have that childhood bond and this friendship cannot be broken unless one of us decides to put it in writing, you’ve got to officially resign from the friendship, you don’t just leave!!

So I decided to ask him, “Are you a father?” His reply really stunned me, I don’t even know why I did not just call the police because his answer was so abusive. At that point in time, I'm just praying in my heart like, "Lord, please grant me the serenity I need."

He said, "Of two, yes.” Dude you crazy? So you got yourself a girlfriend, a baby and ANOTHER BABY and I couldn’t get any update? I was so mad I decided to tell him what’s up, I told him that what he did is so bad and unfair cause now when I get my own baby, he won’t have anyone to play with cause his babies will be all grown, big ass men passed puberty and sh*t like that.

Now I need to make one baby, and quickly make another one so that my baby can have a baby of his size to play with.   You know how it feels when you are a baby and don’t have any baby of your size to play with? It’s like being in a foreign country and you can’t even ask for water!! 

I’ve made peace with it, my baby won’t need my friend’s babies to play with because I will just visit the SPCA and get a puppy for my baby to play with. Now I need to visit his baby mamma and tell those babies who I am since the parents didn’t do so.

I’ll be like, “yo listen up kids, when I was 11 years old, I kicked your daddy’s ass and he bit my back”. I don’t really know why I will be telling them that but I just feel like they need to know. By the way, be a good Dad ma nigga!! I’m really proud of who you’ve become.  And ps, I forgave you for biting my back when I kicked your ass back in the days. 

I'm really fine no though, will even see the babies soon.