Thursday, 13 November 2014

Stop speculating - I had to keep going

After about 10 Months of receiving and replying messages, emails, calls and reading between lines on people telling me how proud they are of me and stuff like that, I decided to open up and reveal what “the other people” referred to as just “Luck”. 

What am I even revealing after all the conclusions they already made? I write this with Eminem’s song Sing for the Moment. I had to get myself in that kinda mood, you see I had to find time and create this kind of mood where I feel like putting a line between what really happened and what people think or say.

This is what happenned Folks

I was raised by a single Mother. I think many of ya’ll are like, yeah sucker we know, tell us something new. I will anyways tell what really happened, you see, I was a dumbo until about grade 4 when I was chosen as the Male class Captain, it was a shitty Job where you had to be the Legal Villain who writes down that long list of The Illegal Villains who don’t seem to just shut the hell up. I hated everything about the job but I had to keep it cause I was already an attention bitch by then. My partner was some girl from Oshakati (name withheld) who I had a huge crush on by then and would write her letters that I never delivered anyways. You see that’s when my fear of failure started because the class captain was not supposed to fail, he needed to be like the super hero. I remember when I caught mumps, the other kids were shocked that the class captain caught mumps.

It was like Dooms Day Braa

I started working really hard and knowing that my mum would time and time remind me that we live on the little she gets from selling fat cakes and sweets at other kids, I had to sit in that class for 40 Minutes, 8 times a day. I thank you all kids who bought my Mums fat cakes and sweets, literally, you paid my school fees. I did not have a proper school uniform until grade 8, I always had one thing missing and it was often shoes, I remember in grade 6, I had shorts and the teacher from Ongwediva still chased me out of class despite my shorts being blue. That was the colour of the Skirts. For the girls. Okay maybe he had a point. That’s partly how I got the name Short Pants.

Anyways, I moved on working hard and even earned myself my first trip in grade 7 when we went to Etosha and for the first time, I got beyond Ongwediva coming south. It was an eye opener, I sat in the corner and the view of life elsewhere and the beautiful scenery of hills as we pass them by drowned the voice of this other kid who noticed that my Uniform is a little older than most of the other kids on the bus. When we met this year, I just said, Oh nice shoes. -_-

I eventually left and went to High school where it was all a mystery, nice memories and oh I was not shy, nope, Just did not have the will to be open and loud out there. Okay I was a little loud. I worked just a little hard to go to University and Bam the trouble begins at UNAM. I was losing it all, I was so emotional and my uncle would eventually push me out of his house. I went to Ongwediva and left the place red face with pain and frustration. I went to Poly and told myself to not fail at all or else my friends will have to then study, pass, get some weird girlfriends and wife them, get a whole bunch of ugly kids who won’t stop crying and running around the neighborhood like lost piglets, and where am I? Trying to work out a recipe of Fat Cakes so that we start over with my beautiful Mum, but no screw that route I chose to work hard and make it for the goodness of what I believed in. You see I was not lucky and I did not have an easy route, I had to suffer but I enjoyed the opinions on the way. Get that clear.